My obsession !
Can love turn into an obsession? Certainly ! An after a year of the first thrill of love, the tears caused by gim began to appear. The first argument I thought was banal, a few words said to him nervously seemed innocent , which I managed to wipe out of my mind easily believing that if I love I have to forgive.
But there were other less painful word . He managed to make me believe that no matter what the reason we were quarreling about , I was still guilty. He looket throw my eyes , often full of tears, and told me, “you’re not good for nothing,” and I thought him seeing him the only man who could accept me so flawless and without a found a self dought within myself. In his eyes I was a big failure and it made me seem useless.
The quarrels now were more than moments of love, and with each strike it was more and more destroying me. He had managed to increase his dependence from me on drugs, if he left, I would sink in darkness full of suffering. I was feeding on the beautiful words he said from time to time and more and more absent, but I thought he loved me and I was just trying to correct my faults.
I started after a while to make my work easier and easier . I turned myself in front of the agnostic, simply without a bit of happiness. I was reminded that if I truely I died in the name of love. My brown-haired boy had turned into a monster playing prey before killing me . And he succeeded and he had managed to kill my last drop of life .
I began to forget how he looked , smiled and how he felt the thrill of love to me . Love meant to be happy no matter what the price was . I was his everything .
My only refuge was in writing , just putting words on the sheets I managed to remember who I really was.
Time has passed and he has demonstrated me for the first time that life is beating like the movie. If you trust yourself , you can become a woman from a girl .
When I decided to end that relationship, I was convinced that he would learn a lesson and he would once again become that wonderful boy I had known some time ago . But I was wrong again . A period of threats, follow-up, humiliation and reproaches followed. Suddenly I was able to see the monster in him . He did not love me . He loved to manipulate me, loved my addiction to him, and when he disappeared he attacked and destroyt me definitively . My friends were only the only persons I can trust .
Love is not addiction . Love is that wonderful feeling that makes you smile without stopping , and the person who loves you will do everything possible to see you smiling and make you cry for happiness only . Love brings change , it will make you a better person than you’ve ever been , it gives you the power to fight for everything your loved one means.
But the struggle for love is done with him and only him against all odds against each other and the world !