The Worst Of Me !
Lying on the couch, thinking, was it all worth it? This blog will remain and I will keep on writing until someone with enough heart tells me to stop. But there’s the problem. I am the devil.
I went to church a few days ago, and ask God to give me counsel. To help me relieve a pain I had, a pain that stayed inside in me for a long time. 20 minutes later I called a call girl and God sent me an Angel. At a cost of course, because all of us have learned that happiness comes at the price. The only problem is that this happiness for me is nothing. I don`t usually count the money, just value the person.
And I was not disappointed. This girl managed to change me again. Not in face or character, but in a soul. I realized that I am a Fuckboy. I fuck everything that comes to me.
But what I truly learned is that even if someone broke me a long time ago, I had the option to choose what I became. And unfortunately, I choose this. And trust me, there is no turning back. Even if you meet your true self, you still are what you are. A demon. Someone that doesn`t knows love. And when he finds it, even if he manages to keep it, inside, he, still is a monster.
I have a dog. A Douge De Bordeaux, that I love with all my heart. She`s been with me for the last 6 years . 2 years apart from my disaster. And I love her with all my heart. All my illnesses I would ignore just to see her happy. When she was just 2 months old I bought her from a guy 500 km away, traveled by train, and when I arrived home I realized that she is sick. At 3 AM in the morning, I called my doctor and told him that I just got a puppy and she’s sick. Hyperventilating, loss of pressure and vomiting. I told him that I had this puppy for no more than 8 9 hours, but she will not die in my hands. And she didn`t . She kept my heart in one peace for a long time . The rest is just emptiness .
This story doesn`t have an ending . At least a good one . But this is what I had to write .