It`s all in your head !
This story is about 2 young boys , cousins in fact . One was 8 years old and the other one 12 . Out of curiosity , the older one wanted to know how it is to be with a girl . But the mistake is that he was a savage . He lived with his father and mother until he was 13 or 14 , I don`t quite remember . He lived in an old warehouse in nowhere in a field long away from the city and society that his family managed to transform into a home . His only friend was his mirror and his pellet rifle . The school was not an option , both he and his mother was beaten even without a reason .
The other one lived in a big city in a 4 bedroom apartment . At first, the neighborhood was a little messy but in a few years, it becomes a prestige residential area . He went to school , always came in the top 5 of his class , but what his parents didn`t know was that he had some mental issues . He never could accommodate to the real world . He walked the streets as it was normal , but within his mind the world was different . He may have suffered from Autism , seeing that he could not communicate with others like a normal people , and crowded places was a trigger of panic for him . He lived with his parents until he was 12 when his mother left the country for a better life .
For a short period of time , it was all well . They had a little more than they usually had . But sex drives a man crazy . So little by little he`s father started verbally abusing him . Then little by little, he had nothing to eat ,despite his younger sister having in secret all the sweats that she wanted . Then after a while seeing that the mother would not return home , he started to be aggressive to the favorite child , on the mother’s side of course . He was punched in the head at just 13 , thrown out of the house for days on end . Later on, when he discovered his mental issues , he realized the impact that this had on him .
But this story is not about the father or the family issues . This story is about the two children. Like I said the older one was starting to be curious about girls . He wanted what every boy wanted at his age . I don`t know what he was taught inside his family , but seeing that he lived a depressive savage life , no contact with humanity , and most probably didn`t knew how to talk girls he managed to corrupt this little 8 year old boy . This is not something that should be judged , but something that should be learned . At first, he was curious if his penis was the same . So from time to time when they meet , he took the boy in a place where nobody could see them and asked him to show him his penis. I don`t know the reason personally but it happened . Then he started touching the young boys penis , playing with it , looking at it . Just curious
After a while he wanted more . He wanted to fell what sex is like . So little by little he took the boy in random places , awkward with the family nearby , and tried to convince him to do random acts of what he knew about sex . So he started playing with the little boys penis , sometime causing him pain . He knew that sex involved two persons performing the act but how would he convince him ? Role-playing , of course . We all know that at on point `Il show you mine if you show me yours ` would happen between two kids . But this was a little different . He figured out that like giving candy to a baby , he could corrupt the younger boy if he started first . So he told him what to do . The boy did what he was asked . Not so easily but he obeyed . At first they tried some indecent things , but it took time to finally corrupt him completely . Every visit they started doing more . Now the 8 year old was completely confused . Even in the bathtub he looked at his penis like he didn`t knew what it was . And if that was not enough , now , he put inside his head a mental image that he was always alone , nobody watching . Even in school he did thing like he was alone , and saw that everybody was watching , but he did not care . He was allowed .
Then things started to take a more serious point between them . Seeing that either shy or unwilling to perform these acts , he started to take control . He pushed him mentally to obey his commands , even if they were upon his self . So he started to put his mouth on him , it specifically . Even as a voice in this story , I feel sick and remorse writing this story . But there are things that we cannot change , and we have to live with them all our lives .
Stage by stage , year by year he wanted more . He didn`t kiss a girl before , and why not see how it is . So one day his family made a visit to the boys family , and in his room, he grabbed him by the head and started trying to kiss him even if the boy resisted .
He didn’t manage , it was too gross . No matter how many times he tried , the boy resisted . But he found a way to convince the boy to take pleasure . At only 9 years old he started giving him mouth . The boy was both fascinated and blocked . It continued for months , maybe years , he could remember . I took him 28 years to finally speak and tell the story . His head had all of it inside , but something was blocking him to speak . Even when visiting psychiatrist , when he was asked if such things , he managed to keep it a secret . Maybe it was the fact that his mother saw something from a long distance and started acting crazy . The boy said something to the child that made him block for a very long time . He even challenged him occasionally to a few fight contests just to prove that he is stronger . Why would one do that . Knowing that he didn`t managed to convince the boy to perform the act , even if he tried on several occasions or just the fact that he felt used even if he was the abuser ?
In time it became a habit . Every time they meet , and he was bored he would occasionally take him someplace quiet and start over . In the end, he didn`t manage to get what he wanted , but he got the child a destroyed life .
The most awkward part is , that some of there family knew , and the choices they made was to stay silent instead of trying to tread the young boys . And the only thing I can think of is fear . Fear of what ? What was so frightening that not only they didn’t seek help , one of the uncles even made a threat that I child would understand , only to make them silence . Was this like porn for them ? What was in there head ? Neither I or my friend could answer this question then or now .
Now the 12-year-old lives alive , not happy , but a life . He has a job , he has a wife and 3 children . They meet once not long ago and only the smell of him put this kid in a deep depression .
On the other hand, the boy started to harm himself , tried to kill himself , cut himself , burn himself , arrived at a mental hospital , lives alive was only heavenly sedated could walk in public places . The doctor gives him a new mental diagnostic every year , from bipolar disorder to borderline mental disorder .
And even so , the worst part that he has to live with is that he now dissociates live . He enters a different persona from time to time , faster than even the doctors would expect . And when he loses this only option to be happy and normal he enters a deep coma of mental breakdown . But as he told me he is not sad . Even dough he is permanently alone hasn`t had a girlfriend in more than 10 years . Not that he didn`t try, he doesn`t know how to make someone look at him no matter how hard he tries or how simple he remains .His only comfort is a few friends from time to time because even if it isn`t love or affection , he sees it that way . If you look deep enough in his eyes you could see the love he has inside , but when you look at him from the outside you can only see the pain that he has both inside and outside in his scars .