Antidepressives and Scotch whiskey
After a trip that emerged to be a total fallout , the only thing that came into my mind was a few days of peace and tranquility and a few lonely nights at a table in the corner of a bar with glasses of scotch and pills . The Whiskey to make me forget and the pills to make me believe that things could change and make me try to start a new story . A new page that has been lost . A letter that as you may say was put in a bottle and thrown into the sea of forgetfulness .
Turin this time . I can’t leave my home . Luckily there are a few local bars nearby when I can think and replenish my thoughts . Three glasses a night and a hand full of pills makes it easy to sleep .
Days go by and my attitude still remains the same . And the thing that troubles me is that I don`t know if It changed me or if still brings back moments from where I lost my self . Harder I try to become myself again more pain and punishment I provoke upon myself .
Maybe after a few days will pass , I can find my own persona again . And become myself once more . Become what I choose to share on the first pages . I mean I love women , but without a reason I kind of hate myself .
I can take a 2 day trip to Monaco , just a few hundred km from here to there . Try the casinos and the hotel under the table passes , the Cannes and Nice clubs , maybe a limo with some friends both from home and on charge . But will it solve anything ?
Not even I can think a way out of this . Maybe it`s not the time to make rash decisions . Just stay still and try to gain day by day .
Like Mark Twain said, “I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
Enough for now . Time to sleep and hopefully wake up as me again , my true self . Call me whatever .